In order to have a balanced, healthy life, we have to be natural. By that I mean we have to be in nature, we have to live organically, we have to follow the laws of nature. Natural laws are not what you might think, for natural laws are the laws that regulate all living beings. When we become civilized, we leave nature and attempt to control it for our benefit, rather than be one with it and coexist with all living things. When we forget that we must live in nature and can’t live without it, disastrous results will follow. There are two cases in point, the use of deadly nuclear power and the destruction of the southern hemisphere rain forests.

            The events in Japan are self-evident; the cataclysmic destruction of the nuclear power plants in Fukushima Japan continues to pollute the planet every day. Approximately 300 tons of radioactive water is still being released into the Pacific every day, almost three years after the disaster. Radiation poisoning will reach the Pacific coast of the United States this year as marine life is beginning to show radiation poisoning in the Pacific. The authorities still don’t know how to remove and contain the 1,330+ rods of nuclear fuel that are still in the reactor in Japan. They don’t know how to remove them without setting off an explosion that could be a doomsday event.

            What is not so well known is the effect of the destruction of the South American rain forests. Hundreds and thousands of acres of rain forest are being cut down for lumber and to make pasture for beef cattle to be sold to meat hungry nations. Scientists have discovered that the rain forest is the beating heart of the world that moves moisture around the world like a heart sends blood throughout the body. When enough rain forests are destroyed, the will cease pumping enough water into the atmosphere to sustain themselves. The result is the world will become a desert similar to northern Africa. We will not see that, but our great grandchildren will. The effects are felt even in the glaciers, because they are reducing at an alarming rate. Glaciers that were predicted to melt over the next 400 years now are expected to disappear in the next two decades.

            I hope that this information startles you and you do your own research. When enough people are aware that we are killing ourselves for profit, not to mention causing the extinction of hundreds of animals, insects and other living beings every year, perhaps we can do something about it. However, as long as we make it profitable for people to cut down the living heart of the planet to make space for cheap meat sources, we will come to a cataclysmic end.

            This is the result of losing touch with our place on this planet, which is in nature. Rather than looking for ways to cooperate with our environment, we have decided to conquer and tame it. For a planet that is millions of years old, we will have another extinction event to rival the dinosaurs, we will be and we are committing mass suicide. When the rain forest is gone, not only will be lose the indigenous people, animals, plants and medicines available there, we will lose the ability of the planet to sustain itself. We will lose drinking water, crops and food sources. The global warming as a result of loss of air circulation will cause nuclear winter faster than air pollution. It will not be pretty.

            I am somewhat relieved that I will not live long enough to see most of this catastrophe, but I am greatly concerned that my children will. We have to get politically active; we have to start talking to each other about what we are doing to each other. It is just now been scientifically proven that the rain forest is responsible for the movement of moisture around the planet, and the loss of that will kill us. We need to protect ourselves!

           I was raised in a culture where loving someone meant having no boundaries and completely disempowering yourself to them. My parents insisted that I behave in certain ways, and when I didn’t, I would be punished. Sometimes manners and public behavior required such convention, but usually it had more to do with me being “seen and not heard”.  So to avoid punishment, I had to constantly be vigilant about my parents’ moods and how I was behaving around them. This was all called “love”. What it actually was training how to disempower myself and be someone other than who I was to make others happy.

            I just ended a relationship where I finally realized that I was doing the same thing to someone I loved. I was constantly vigilant to her needs, making sure that everything was to her liking and totally forgetting about my own needs. I thought that was love. Whenever she decided to walk all over me, it was accepted because I was afraid if I set boundaries she would leave. I was in complete denial to the reality that she didn’t really care much about me; she was just using me to enjoy a lifestyle I threw at her in an attempt to buy her love. Over and over again I was given evidence that she really didn’t care much about me. She never invited me to meet her family or her friends even though we were living together. She would never plan things for us to do together; I was constantly doing that to win her affection. It was pretty much a one sided relationship.

            The wake up call came when she planned a date with an old boy friend the first night we went on an international trip together. I suppose she felt that if I loved her I would be fine staying in the hotel room by myself while she went out with her old boyfriend. I finally stood up for myself and ended the relationship. Ironically, she still does not see that she did anything that justified ending the relationship.

            This story is not about her. It is about the way I totally lost myself in the relationship and allowed her to ignore any boundaries or attempts for self respect. Nothing is worth allowing myself to do that. I learned a lot of lessons in this relationship, primarily being more careful about who I want to share my life with. There are a lot of toxic people out there and I seem to be able to fall in love with most of them. The truth is I am a naturally gifted healer and many people come to me for healing. It is my problem that I sometimes fall in love with them.

            The truth is this person only came into my life for one reason, to lead me back to my teacher. I had left this teacher several years before, and in chasing her I found my way back to him. Once this was accomplished, I hung on too long, and probably made it too difficult for her to leave by showering jewelry, exotic trips, penthouse apartments and other goodies on her. I remember the saying that some people come into our lives for different reasons, and we have to be aware of when that reason has been completed.  I have written many times about love, and how we should think about the other person’s happiness. I have learned an important lesson about love, and that is we have to love ourselves first. When we let someone disrespect us and walk all over our self-respect, that is not loving ourselves.

            It is true that we go into relationships to learn how to love ourselves more. Sometimes loving ourselves means ending a relationship that is unhealthy or one-sided. While that may seem paradoxical, it makes perfect sense to me now. So if you are in a relationship where there is not mutual love, affection, respect and caring, you need to end it. If you are the one receiving all of the love and affection and not giving anything back, you should consider whether you are in integrity by staying when it is obvious you are taking advantage of someone. The karma that comes from abusing someone that loves you is huge. So when a relationship isn’t working, be brave enough to stop and go find one that does.

I am in North Carolina celebrating Father’s Day with my father, who just turned 90 years old this week. It has given me a lot to reflect upon, especially since he is nearing the end of a hugely successful and admirable life. His body has not been able to keep up with his mind, as both are giving out on him. As we say on the ranch, he was rode hard and put up wet. He grew up in eastern North Carolina in the depression and went to the United States Military Academy at West Point graduating in 1945. After military service he went to Duke Law School and graduated in 1952 at third in his class. Thereafter he crafted a legendary career as a trial and business attorney, representing clients in some of the most prolific and important litigation in North Carolina. He was a fierce opponent and loyal and trusted ally.

            My path with my father was like two bull elephants battling over who was going to control my life. Some of my most painful life lessons were learned out of a motivation to rebel against his control. I am more like him than I care to admit, and understand the huge influence he has made in my life. I observe that is the role many fathers play in our lives. I see many people who struggle to coexist with their fathers who try to control the lives of their children in an attempt to keep them safe. This may be the legacy of the fathers of the three dimensional world.

            There are two challenges for all fathers. The first is to open their hearts and allow the divine feminine to coexist with their cultural roles as head of the household. The second is to allow their family to choose and walk their own paths of destiny. Historically it was very difficult for males to be vulnerable and open their hearts to love and be loved. Those that lived during the depression and world wars were programmed to be tough providers for their family. Softness and tenderness were not qualities that were deemed necessary as they were in survival mode. Now men are starting to understand that being vulnerable is an admirable quality. Equally as big a shift is the notion that men are no longer “head of the household”, they are in a cooperative role with all of the family members to create love and abundance.

            As my father nears the end of this lifetime, Alzheimer’s and dementia have taken the fight out of him. I notice that he is no longer playing the role of head of the household; he has softened noticeably and has gone more into his heart. He is becoming the father I always wanted. He is kind, accepting and grateful for his children (most of the time). He is a pleasure to be with, there is no more struggle between us. The balance in him is noticeable; he has learned what he came here to learn. Now is the time for his next adventure.

            Father’s Day is one of the holidays that need to be acknowledged everyday. There are so many fathers worldwide who toil, worry, and dream big dreams for their children and family without adequate appreciation. Now I hope that more fathers will open their hearts and share their feelings with their loved ones. This allows their loved ones to know that they are loved and included in their lives. This brings people together and bond.

            So today, let us appreciate our fathers and send them love. Ask that their hearts be opened and share their emotions. Let us do the same, open our hearts and share our emotions with our fathers. After all, they are our greatest teachers, either of how to be or how not to be. It is not easy to be a father, and I have learned a lot from my sons on how to be better. There is not a father on the planet that doesn’t have some angst about how they parented their children. They deal with that everyday. All people want to be good parents, and they do the best they can. Perhaps today we can forgive our fathers for their lessons and how they learned to parent. All parents need help, and forgiveness plays a large part in helping everyone be their best.

            I hear people frequently say that they want to be enlightened. I often said that myself. I had no idea of what I was asking for. I thought I was asking for psychic abilities, healing abilities, and peace. In a nutshell, what I was asking for was to lose everything and go crazy. I prayed and prayed that I would be connected with God and be enlightened. I wanted to do this quickly and damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead.

            The first thing I learned on the path to enlightenment was that I had to lose everything. I lost my family, I lost my long time legal career, and I lost all of my money. Don’t worry; this has a happy ending. But I don’t recommend this for the average citizen. There are not many people who have the resources to pull off a complete redo on the consciousness level. They fall into despair, they commit crimes of mass destruction, or they just go away. This is because of our main operating system, THE EGO, does not like being replaced by higher consciousness.

            The first thing I gave up was a $300K a year job because I knew I was I that job for my parents. Even though I was very good at it, I decided to go a different path. The reason being was I knew it was a stepping-stone to something greater. So think of it this way. You are making all kinds of crazy money and living the American dream. However my dream was to feed, heal and save children. I knew enough about agriculture to know that if you don’t cultivate the seeds, the crop will die. Hello!!! Does anyone get the metaphor? So we make the world safe for our children, their children and their children, or we will die.

            If you want to know where your consciousness is, look at what you complain about. It will tell you where you are. If you complain about your relationships, you are probably in need of a talk with a spiritual master. If you complain about your financial portfolio, you are probably in need of a talk with a spiritual master. If you complain about your health, you are probably in need of a talk with a spiritual master. So if you complain, go talk to a spiritual master.

            A spiritual master knows that all of this is an illusion and an ego game. They don’t care about stuff. They don’t care about relationships. They don’t care about bank accounts. All they care about is your soul. And they will listen very intently to your complaints and laugh. They laugh because they don’t care. They know that there is only one question we need to ask ourselves and that is “am I breathing?” If the answer is “no”, there is no problem. If the answer is “yes”, then there is no problem, only life. And life is messy, chaotic, confusing and frustrating. Even for enlightened people.

            The next question is “what are you afraid to give up?” This one is the borderline between enlightenment and living. There is a real borderline to this question because whatever answer comes will be the reason you are unhappy. This is the “oh crap” question because there isn’t any equivocation on this one. This drills down the illusion that we perpetrate on what we need. The answer for enlightened beings is “everything”! For all of us normal people, that may be harder. We find it hard to give up the friends, money, possessions, job, or self esteem.

            Here is the secret that everyone is looking for to find happiness: “let it go”. You will never be happy wanting something. You can only be happy not wanting something. Here is a zen statement for you: you won’t get what you want, until you don’t want it. Then you won’t want it. Life is grand, isn’t it!

            So when the philosophers talk about peeling the onion, they are only talking about getting into a state where you don’t want the onion. Then it will be possible to be happy. So, here is a list of stuff people want: Soul mate, Job, Health, Longevity, Money, Prestige, Power, Respect. None of this stuff will bring you peace or happiness. The only thing that will bring you happiness is being able to sit with yourself and being able to laugh. If you can do that honestly, sincerely, authentically, everything else is BS. So let go of being right. Be flexible. Be honest. Be sincere. Follow your dream and don’t be distracted.