Spiritual and relationship expert, teacher, counselor, advisor, speaker, and writer James Gray Robinson

Don’t Get Me Wrong

I read an article the other day that made me want to clarify some blogs I have done in the past. The article was based on a formula that the author claims to be “the God Formula”, and it is simply 90/10. The article goes on to explain that most people have lives that are 90 percent positive and 10 percent negative. What happens for most people is that they focus on the 10 percent negative and it corrupts the 90 percent positive. I totally agree with this concept, that we actually have it pretty good in the USA with brief periods of what we don’t like that we have to deal with.

            Some of the more recent blogs I have posted talk about some negative events that I have had recently in my life that were potentially overwhelming and what I was doing to get through these events. Terminating relationships, financial losses, self-destruction are all events that occurred in my life this summer. I have to confess that if I were to look objectively at my life through this period I have had it pretty good. I have a place to live, I have fulfilling work and I am healthier than 99% of the population. I take care of myself and haven’t done anything remotely destructive recently. All in all, despite the occasional floating matter in the stew of my life, it is tasty and nutritious.

            It is all about what we focus on. Our minds are hardwired to expand whatever we focus on until it fills the horizon. This comes from ancient survival techniques that made sure that raptors didn’t have us for lunch. As our world has become less and less lethal, we have not changed our survival techniques to mindfulness techniques that allow us to operate at optimum efficiency and enjoyment. I am the first to admit that when the fecal matter hits the revolving blades sometimes it is difficult to remember how good I have it. My mother needlepointed a pillow that says: “Sometimes when you are up to your ass in alligators it is difficult to remember your initial objective was to drain the swamp.”

            Many people these days are seeking a life purpose, that special activity that will save the planet as well as our self-esteem and wallets. I believe that our life purpose, the reason we are here, is to enjoy everything life gives us. Success gets what it wants; happiness wants what it gets. I have to say that losing your savings is a lot harder to want than winning the lottery, but that is the secret to life. We all know those people who seem to breeze through life, as if they are floating downstream on a flotation device that is made of stardust.

            It has come to my attention lately that most of my life lessons (as in “ouch”) have come as a consequence of trying to save someone or something. I suspect that is why I want to be a healer; I have a subconscious need to save lives. I invest in risky investments in order to save a business or group of people. I also suspect that deep down inside, in the deep reaches where no one wants to go, I want the recognition and rewards that go along with being a savior. So I need to stop trying to save people and start serving them. There is a world of difference; probably about 90/10.

            The truth is no one and the world does not need saving. We invent this illusion to make ourselves seem needed. If we destroy the environment, the world will go on, although insects instead of humanoids will populate it. It is our ego that thinks we need to survive and look what our egos have done with the place. Perhaps if we start concentrating on how to serve each other rather than save each other we would have different results.