Spiritual and relationship expert, teacher, counselor, advisor, speaker, and writer James Gray Robinson

Be Careful What You Ask For

            [This blog should ruffle some feathers…] I am seeing more and more requests for healing energy or prayer by people who are struggling, sick, or confused. Alternatively, people are making similar requests for people who they know or have heard about.  I think people should be very careful about making such requests because you never know what you are going to get.

            First of all, the source of all healing and understanding is Source, however you may define or name it. That creative power of the universe that created us, that spark of life that transformed us from quivering protoplasm into living, sentient beings, is capable of miraculous changes. When we ask others to pray for us or send energy, what we get is Source filtered through their perceptions and beliefs. We may get prayers or energy from people who are tragically human, with problems and beliefs that we don’t want any part of. They may be sicker or more troubled that the target of these requests. Do you really want that kind of energy or prayer at work on you?

            Second, when we ask others for prayer or energy we are not focusing on the Source of the healing, the divine. When we focus on the divine, we are much more likely to get results, or at least comfort for our challenges. One of the most powerful prayers is “Thank You God”, the recognition to the universe that everything is good and for our benefit. It is kind of like asking a private to do the job of a general.

            Third, asking for someone to send you prayers or healing is avoiding the whole purpose of the lesson and every experience we have, which is to go within and contemplate our connection to the divine. It is a kind of spiritual denial that we don’t want what we are getting. Wishing life was different is the source of all suffering. When we are engaged in judging our life or the comparing ourselves to others, we are creating more suffering. We grow and become enlightened by letting go of judgment and comparison and being grateful.

            By now I am sure that some are protesting that “the power of prayer” is a proven medical tool. I would disagree that our prayers for someone else has any affect on the destiny of that person. I would think that is our ego at work, claiming responsibility for the work of the Divine. Some healers love to say “I don’t do anything, it is spirit at work” and yet they charge money for their services. If they are not doing anything, why should they get paid? For all of those healers out there, I am not being critical, but I question whether you are having any effect or is it the destiny of your client to come to you and be healed? But that begs the question for all of those people who seek out healers to help them with their problems, do you really want to be bombarded with an unknown energy from someone you may not know at all.

            I recognize that this whole line of inquiry is at odds with the spiritual principle that prayers for others are answered much quicker than prayers for ourselves. Delightful conflict I would say. I keep coming back to the proposition that we should be healing ourselves, cleaning up our own lives, thoughts, beliefs and actions rather than meddling in the lives and affairs of others. My savior complex has caused me nothing but suffering, loss and a great deal of stress. It is time for me to stop that kind of behavior and just be kind. It is not my job to save you.

            The last point I want to make is enabling versus empowerment. If someone is going through difficult times, perhaps that is due to the way they act, think, speak or behave. Like it or not, no one is a victim. We create our own reality. So if we are praying to make their life different, are we enabling or empowering? Or should we have compassion and unconditional love and let them learn their lessons. Yes, we can support them and hold their hands, but do we really want to take their lessons from them?