Spiritual and relationship expert, teacher, counselor, advisor, speaker, and writer James Gray Robinson

NON-JUDGMENT VS FORGIVENESS

Many books, seminars, workshops, and meditations concentrate on the power of forgiveness. Even I have taught numerous workshops and written about forgiveness. Forgiveness allows us to let go of resentments and negative thinking that will eventually make us sick. The notion is that we have to forgive everyone who has harmed us, including ourselves. I have come to the realization that philosophy only scratches the surface and needs deeper analysis.

Why do we need to forgive? What do we need to forgive? The deeper thinker would conclude that in order to have anything to forgive, we have to have judged someone as being wrong. Whether it is a dysfunctional childhood, unhealthy relationships, unkind people or being overly self-critical, the underlying theme is that someone did something to “me” that I judge to be wrong.

Rather than go through the often-difficult task of forgiveness, go deeper and analyze what we think is wrong with the situation. It is the mind that judges and concludes that it is a victim. Someone has done something to it that it doesn’t like. It then applies the filters of its training and experience and concludes that the things that it doesn’t like are wrong.

Underneath all of this mental masturbation is the belief that if the mind doesn’t like something, then that something must be wrong. Having been wronged, the mind then goes into victim mode. When we are in victim mode, we go out of alignment with our divine plan and often make ourselves sick. So wouldn’t it be better to not go into victim mode in the first place?

When we are in victim mode, we violate one of the basic teachings of our existence, which is we are the creator of our reality. We can’t blame anyone else for our situation; everything that happens is on purpose, for our enlightenment. The art of forgiveness will lift us out of victim mode, but it doesn’t deal with the underlying judgment that put us there in the first place.

It is far better to realize that everything happens because our divine self wants it to happen so that we can have the experiences that lead us to enlightenment. Often it takes time to gain the perspective necessary to understand that something that happens that we don’t like is actually for our own enlightenment. The loss of a loved one, job or finances can be traumatic if we don’t focus on the one universal rule, and that is we are the creator of our lives so that we can become enlightened. If we are consistent and disciplined in our understanding that we are creators, and not victims, there will be nothing to forgive.

Thus, it is much better not to judge something as wrong. When we don’t like something, we must understand that is our mind judging something we have created. There is no need to judge, simply accept. If we don’t like it, then we can change the behavior that created it in the first place. This is the path to enlightenment, to understand that everything is for our enlightenment. When we presume to forgive, we fall into a trap that the mind creates to keep us suffering. Instead of forgiving, don’t judge. You will become enlightened much quicker.

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