The human design is not one that was built around the concept of delayed gratification. I am putting that very mildly. Our ancestors were not applying sunscreen for the health of their future skin, no one was building an empire or even a nest egg for retirement, nobody had a Bucket List, and there was no concept of saving anything for a rainy day, Modern hunter-gatherer populations’ estimated average life expectancy at birth was 33 years. Today the global average is more than double that. So when you self-flagellate for not being able to stick to something long enough to see significant results, remember that our ancestors didn’t have to face these “issues”. Therefore they weren’t hardwired into our human design, and it takes effort to cultivate the mindset that truly embraces the philosophy of “not yet”.
Embracing the concept of “not yet” is fundamental to a growth mindset. It suggests that even if you haven’t achieved something now, it doesn’t mean you won’t ever achieve it. “Not yet” opens up the possibility for growth and improvement over time. Believing in it inevitably fosters optimism. It suggests that there is always room for improvement and that the future holds potential for success, if you can let go of the pressure of your specific and perhaps rigid timelines.
There are children’s books focused on this concept; The Magical Yet, The Power of Yet, Not Yet, and more. Childhood is the ideal time to learn about resilience and growth mindset, so that we can install the mental hard drives of resilience and belief in endless possibilities. By the time we get to be adults, much of this same applicable magic of “not yet” exists, but most of us are too stuck in “What Is” to imagine “What Can Be”. I often told my sons that patience was often hard to learn,
So how can you harness the power of Not Yet? For starters, I suggest taking a look at one of those children’s books I mentioned above. Think of how you would explain to a child that you love that their future looks bright and they can be anything they want. Now turn that narrative back on yourself.
Understand that “not yet” implies a journey of growth and learning rather than failure. Instead of viewing any perceived setbacks as permanent, see them as temporary and an opportunity for growth. Focus on setting goals that prioritize learning and progress rather than just outcomes. For example, instead of setting a goal to achieve a certain outcome, set a goal to learn a new skill or gain new knowledge. Sometimes there are proverbial back doors to what we want to achieve, and by changing anything, you will create a reaction to the shift in some way. Like ripples in a pond, every action has a consequence and by opening yourself to expand in new ways, you provide more opportunities for Not Yet to become Now.
Often the big goals can seem hard and perhaps even impossible to reach. This can make your “Not Yet” feel more like “Never Gonna Happen”, and that viewpoint will ensure that it doesn’t. Divide your goals into smaller, manageable steps that you can achieve incrementally. Each step represents progress towards your ultimate goal, even if you haven’t reached it yet. Taking one step at a time gives you evidence that you are on your way. You must make being on your way as important as getting there, and watch how your Not Yet attitude makes the path more satisfying, leading to more momentum.
Acknowledge and celebrate your progress along the way, even if you haven’t reached your ultimate goal. Recognizing small victories can help maintain your levels of motivation and momentum. Pause often to reflect on your progress and adjust your approach as needed. If you encounter setbacks, view them as opportunities to learn and grow rather than reasons to give up. Understand that achieving meaningful goals takes time and effort. Be patient with yourself and trust the process, knowing that progress is being made even if it’s not immediately apparent.
Believing in “not yet” can provide a sense of direction and purpose. It encourages you to work towards goals with the understanding that even if you haven’t reached them yet, you are moving in the right direction. If you were a sailor and set off by ship to the Island of Financial Freedom, you would continuously check your navigation systems. You would believe that you were inevitably going to reach the island, as you had complete clarity about where you were going. Your critical inner child may be on the boat asking every day, “Are we there yet?” and you would respond “Not yet” until at last the island appeared on the horizon, its flag beckoning you to its shores.
There is also the idea that perhaps you are not ready yet for something to come to fruition. You think that you’re ready for wild financial success, but you have not prepared for it to actually happen, and could leave yourself open to losing it all quickly. You don’t want to take a cake out of the oven when it is half baked, you don’t want to pull the fruit from the tree before it has ripened, Often when it comes to things that we want; to achieve, to buy, to have in our beds, etc. we are impatient in a way that we are not in other situations, such as planting a seed and giving it time to grow. Your job is to stay clear about your directions and ultimate goals and to keep making the conditions as ideal as possible for what you want to come to fruition.
This may be in terms of building a stronger body or romantic relationship. It may be working towards a promotion or increasing the revenue and visibility of your own business. It may mean developing a more resilient and loving sense of self. It can literally be anything that you are wishing to happen that has not happened “yet”.
“Not yet” does not work all on its own, it requires that you put in some work as well. The first place this “work” takes place is in your mind. Shift to seeing the opportunities that lie ahead of you, rather than what you have not accomplished yet. Once you begin to see yourself more as the person who you are becoming than the person you have been, you are well on your way to transforming your “not yets” into “Wow, it’s happening!” New neural pathways will support you every time!
There are many aspects of my life that took me a long time to reach. I had two failed marriages and thought that I was doomed to be unsuccessful at love for life, but the Universe said “not yet” and now I am happily married to an incredible woman, in the best relationship of my life. It took me decades to feel comfortable in my skin, to get healthy and fit, to find work I find the most fulfilling, so many things! Looking back now I can see that the power of Not Yet was working for me all along. If you want help learning how to make it transform your life, reach out to me at: https://www.jamesgrayrobinson.com/