We all want to do the best we can, and to be the best person we can be. We all want to be admired and successful. We would love animals to come running up to us to be petted or hugged, we would love small children to smile and laugh when they see us. When we love others, with as much wild abandon as we can offer, we want our partner to love us back with equal fervor. We want them to be just as interested in our happiness as we are with theirs. Sometimes life just doesn’t work out that way.
Most of us are out here in this wild world doing our best to be kind, to be respectful of others, and to leave the world better because we were in it. We have an intrinsic desire to do our part and willingly offer our time and efforts to help others. We meditate, pray, contribute to charities and help others whenever we can. Yet our hearts get broken when our beloved betrays us or lies to us, we are traumatized when someone cheats us and steals our life savings, and we suffer doubts and fears about whether or not there is a higher power looking out for us. Even those of us with incredible faith have asked the question internally: if I spend my life being an intentionally and conscientiously high vibrational person, why do I have to suffer?
There are several reasons for this. First, you may still have some suppressed emotions that you need to heal to advance on our spiritual journey. If we are greedy or shallow when dealing with others, sometimes people come into our lives to call attention to those hidden emotions so we can heal them. These mirrors can be like “fun house” mirrors that distort the actual extent of the problem buried in our subconscious. They can appear exaggerated to make sure we get the message. Perhaps we are doing some things just to meet cultural expectations and for how “it will look” to others. I know that I mention it repeatedly, but the best thing that you can do in this lifetime is to look at yourself and uncover your truths. The distortions of these “fun mirrors”(which often feel far from fun) help break through our denial so that we can look at ourselves honestly. Put down the microscope which we often employ externally and pick up the mirror.
Second, other people we encounter can be here to show us how we may have lived in the past or in a past lifetime and they are here to help us clear our karma. Depending on how we respond to unkindness, dishonesty, and betrayal, we can cut through lifetimes of karma. If we respond in similar fashion, then the karma will not be cleared. If we respond in kindness and honesty, the karma will be cleared. If we can avoid judging another person, we do not have to forgive. If we judge another person, we would have to forgive. This does not mean, however, that we have to allow the other person to continue their behavior. Healthy boundaries are clearly necessary to love yourself well.
Third, the other person may be unconsciously or unintentionally reminding you of another relationship (one with your parents, your exes, etc) that you have not let go. If you perceive that someone has “abandoned” or “betrayed” you, this may be time to look at your relationships with your parents and yourself. We get into relationships which expose our love or lack of love for ourselves. I know this was true of me for decades, before I was truly willing to do the internal work necessary to change. When we start loving ourselves, we may realize that we have to end the relationship with the person (or people) who came to reveal this part of ourselves. If we love ourselves, we do not associate with people who don’t love us well and who aren’t aligned with our highest versions of ourselves. When we love ourselves, we can ask the proverbial question: what do they bring to the table? And we will no longer settle for crumbs.
Finally, and this is unfortunately quite common, the brightest lights bring the biggest bugs. Just like moths are drawn to flames, damaged people are often drawn to highly evolved people. If you are a bright light (and I suspect that if you are reading this, you are) it is important to realize that the light and the dark are inextricably intertwined. That’s also why it is so important to create healthy boundaries for yourself, in order to not allow others to deplete your energy and efforts. You can tell a bright light by the fact that they don’t go into victim consciousness. They do what they can to help others, then are able to detach and let people learn their own lessons, as they move on to make effective changes elsewhere.
There are a lot of people who don’t want to be saved. They cannot see beyond their limiting narratives and don’t even realize how some internal work would change their life. For years I saw myself as needing to be a knight. When I realized that being a white knight is a dead end job, my life got a lot simpler. Ironically now I am actually knighted, committed to the upliftment and education of others. But it came long after I learned the lessons of discernment and boundary-setting. Bright lights must remember that the goal is for them to be like the Centennial light, which was first lit in 1901 and has only been turned off briefly a few times since. You don’t want to be like a fireworks show, that entertains people and lights up the sky brilliantly but just for a very short time before it vanishes from view and has no sustainable positive impacts.
I believe that it is more important than ever for bright lights to shine unapologetically and to expand their reach as much as possible. Be a lighthouse, keeping people from crashing and capsizing, be like the Luxor lamp, the world’s strongest light beam seen from the furthest distance away, be a headlamp, forging through dark territory. There are endless ways to be a bright light, and the world needs yours.
I know that sometimes we are the ones keeping our light in shadow. I welcome you to check out my book: How Big Is Your But? which addresses what you can do to expand your light like you never have before.
Enjoy a sneak peek at: https://www.jamesgrayrobinson.com/books/
You’re the one who is going to make your life Grayt!