It’s only February, and already, this year has provided quite a few plot twists. Maybe your personal world has shifted in ways you didn’t expect. Maybe the weight of the collective—of headlines that never seem to ease up—feels like it is heavy on your shoulders. Midwinter can have a way of amplifying everything and has the potential to turn struggling into exhaustion and exhaustion into a numbed level of autopilot. You may be wondering, How am I supposed to keep charging forward when I already feel like I need a reset?
Ironically, this is when joy matters most. I know, I know, but hear me out. Not in a naive, pretend-everything-great way, but in a deeply intentional, authentically empowered way that says that you are not going to let life shrink you. You won’t accept frustration as such a familiar emotion.
I always like to think of going beyond what already exists, and intentionally creating joy allows you to go far beyond enduring your existence—into a world that you thoughtfully create, based upon both what you feel and the laws of science.
You build a joyful neural pathway when you decide to wake up and seek out the things that make your heart lighter, even when the world feels heavy. This means opening the curtains and taking in the day, it does not mean doom-scrolling on your phone. These days too many of us fail to do the former upon awakening but do the latter. You build new neural pathways when you stop waiting for perfect circumstances and instead carve out space, however small, for things that make you feel content. You don’t need an elaborate escape (think Fiji) or a complete overhaul (think therapy boot camp). You just need small real moments. You need times in your day when you’re doing something that your nervous system loves, without rushing to the next obligation. Or even thinking about the next obligation! You can play a song you love at full volume to shake you out of autopilot. You need to find a way to experience laughing in a way that catches you off guard and raises your spirits instantly. Scientifically and emotionally speaking, you need to embrace the practice of living with joy.
People who call joy frivolous are missing the point. Joy is fuel. It’s your personal stance against everything that tells you to be worn down, to be hopeless, and to accept that the struggle is constant, in one form or another.
So what now? You start where you are. Identify some authentic little sources of joy and gather them up like firewood, letting them warm you from the inside out. Give yourself permission to move, stretch, breathe, and break the feelings of stagnation that winter can cause. Remember that connection—real, human connection—pulls you out of isolation, even when you don’t feel like reaching out to anyone. Let yourself rest without guilt.
Joy is one of the main reasons why you are here, why we are all here! Period. Its message gets lost in some of the structures of our culture, but its call remains persistent. Just like the call is coming from inside the house when you’re looking for the villain in your life, the call beckoning you to find more joy is also coming from inside you. Not as a reward for making it through the hard parts, but as something to claim now, smack in the middle of them. So claim it. Make space for it. And watch how, even in midwinter, your thaw can begin.
Of course, the kicker is that your pesky brain is wired for survival, not happiness. Even though you deeply crave things that make you happy, your brain is constantly scanning for threats, documenting problems, and fixating on what’s wrong—all in the name of keeping you safe. As you know, your brain is often misguided about what constitutes any of these things but hey, who’s keeping score of your Warrior’s accuracy average? (note: you should be!) And this year? There’s been plenty for your amygdala to fixate on.
Winter can amplify it. The lack of sunlight pushes your serotonin levels down. The colder weather slows your body, and with it, your motivation. The repetition of gray days can lull you into a version of emotional hibernation. If you let your brain take the lead, it will tell you to retreat, conserve energy, and brace for more potential threats down the line. But then here comes joy, interrupting that pattern. Joy tells your nervous system a different story. And when you choose to listen to it and invite it in, even in small ways, you rewire yourself to bring more of it into your life.
If you live in a warm climate, lucky you. But the shorter days and feelings of winter can affect you too. And just like your cold friends, you have the power to become the thermometer, not the thermostat, wherever you are.
Neuroplasticity, in any and all situations, allows your brain to change and adapt based on what you repeatedly do. When you focus on stress, your brain strengthens those pathways. When you focus on opportunities for contentment, your brain strengthens those instead. The trick is to intentionally interrupt any downward spirals.
You don’t need to force yourself into toxic positivity. None of us need to be exposed to any more of that. You need to stimulate your brain’s reward systems. Movement does this, causing dopamine to circulate. So does sunlight, even on overcast days. Laughter triggers endorphins. Positive social connections release oxytocin. Novelty—trying something new, even as simple as taking a different route home—wakes up your Guru and shakes you out of autopilot. These are not indulgences; they are the very things that train your brain to include valuing thriving alongside surviving. Joy isn’t just a feel-good idea—it’s a neurobiological strategy.
When you intentionally seek joy, you aren’t ignoring life’s difficulties. I know we all know the metaphor of the ostrich sticking its head in the sand to not have to see what threats arise. You’re not ostriching through life, you’re refusing to let “problems” be the only thing your brain focuses on. You are reminding your nervous system that you are safe enough to enjoy something. Believe me, that “safe enough” message matters. It regulates your stress response. It allows your creativity, problem-solving, and sense of connection to return, and shifts you from survival mode into something closer to thriving.
You don’t have to wait for circumstances to improve before you let in joy. You choose it—today, in the midst of whatever this year has already been. That choice causes your brain to begin to change. The cold feels less restrictive. The days feel more hopeful. And you remember, deep in your biology, that joy isn’t a luxury. It’s a lifeline. Joy is a neurochemical reset.
Since winter and stress both deplete dopamine, oxytocin, and endorphins, you have to actively and intentionally replenish them. It’s not enough to “wait until you feel better.” Your brain needs evidence that you’re safe, that good things still exist, that life is still worth engaging in. That’s why proactively seeking joy—especially in hard seasons—isn’t indulgence. It’s a recalibration of your nervous system.
As always, start small. Go outside even when it’s cold or cloudy. Make time to move—dance, stretch, walk—because motion signals safety to your nervous system. Listen to music that shakes something loose inside you. Make an effort to be social because connection is the antidote to stress. The world doesn’t seem to be letting up its pace anytime soon, so you must learn to set your own pace, stopping to smell as many proverbial flowers as possible along the way.
I believe we all have parts of ourselves that are still healing. I’m thrilled to share my award-winning book, filled with the strategies and philosophies that transformed my life. Take a look here: Hard Cover version of The Secrets to Healing.