December is upon us, with the holiday season in full swing! I don’t know about you, but I feel as though this year has flown by. I recently returned from a trip across the pond to London to receive an award based on the merit of giving and being a man of heart. Little could mean more to me than to be of positive service to the world. Throughout my world travels and more than five decades of varied career moves and success, kindness is still what gets me up in the morning. It fuels my work and my personal life. But it took a long time to realize how much kindness is a two-way street to the extent that it is. By this, I mean that I always knew that doing for others and being kind was good for them, but I also understood the myriad of incredible benefits it had for me.
I’m sure in your life you have handed a stranger their fallen scarf, donated to a cause close to your heart, or surprised a friend with something they love. Or any other millions of ways that you have chosen to be kind. In those moments, something remarkable happens inside your brain—a surge of neurobiological activity that transforms even small gestures into complex acts of personal and social magic. You might think, as I did, that you’re just being kind, but your brain has a far deeper, biological story to tell.
Every act of giving triggers a series of neural processes. And I mean every act (and thought)! When you help someone, your brain releases oxytocin, most people’s favorite hormone ~the “love hormone.” Oxytocin isn’t just about cuddles and bonding; it’s your brain’s way of rewarding you for fostering connection. It creates a sense of warmth, trust, and a boost in emotional well-being. The reality is that we’re all hardwired for generosity because it strengthens social ties and helps our species survive. Long before we all lived in the separate-seeming ways that we do now, we lived in communities and depended on each other for survival. The Universe, with its omniscient intelligence, built this reward system into our brains to encourage us to help others. It may feel less “necessary” than it did before, but when I look around at our world, I think it may actually be as important as ever.
Oxytocin doesn’t work alone. As you extend kindness, your brain activates its brilliant reward center, flooding you with dopamine—the same chemical that lights up when you achieve a goal or enjoy your favorite dessert. This is why giving feels good; your brain is literally rewarding you for being kind. It’s a feedback loop: the more you give, the more you want to because your brain associates it with pleasure. A truly genius element of our humanness.
There’s also the fascinating role of serotonin, a neurotransmitter linked to happiness and emotional regulation. When you engage in acts of kindness, serotonin levels rise, leaving you feeling calm and satisfied. It’s as though your brain is saying, “Yes, this is who you are meant to be.”
It goes well beyond fleeting feelings of joy. Giving activates your brain’s prefrontal cortex, the region involved in decision-making, empathy, and planning. This means every kind act you perform strengthens your ability to empathize and consider others. Kindness shapes you into a better version of yourself—more connected, more thoughtful, more human.
And what about the physical effects?! Giving doesn’t just help others; it directly benefits your health. Your body responds to acts of kindness and mirrors your brain’s generosity with reduced cortisol levels, which means less stress. Science calls this the “helper’s high,” but it’s more than just a fleeting high. Over time, this can lead to lower blood pressure, a stronger immune system, and better sleep, amongst many other positive outcomes. Think of it as a natural antidote to modern life’s chaos—no doctors, supplements, or apps required.
Even more fascinating, your brain’s kindness doesn’t just stop with you. It’s contagious. This phenomenon, known as neural mirroring, suggests that kindness is contagious on a neurological level. The recipient of your generosity often experiences their own rush of oxytocin and dopamine, inspiring them to pay it forward. Your kind actions, however small, can inspire others to act generously, creating a ripple effect that extends far beyond the initial act.
So the next time you hesitate, wondering if you have time to help or resources to give, remember what your brain is built for. Giving is not just about making someone else’s day better; it’s about shaping your brain, improving your own life, and feeding your most human instinct: to connect. You’re not just being kind—you’re joining in a profound, neurological dance. You’re feeding this incredibly powerful loop of positivity. So many things that we humans indulge in: shopping, overeating, drinking, and all kinds of stimulation, we get such short “highs” from, and we do not create positive cycles. I think it’s about time as a culture that we started getting our highs from more kindness and collaboration.
When you give, whether it’s your time, resources, or even just a kind word, you might not realize that you’re rewiring your brain. Beneath the surface of every act of kindness, complex neural networks light up, revealing that generosity isn’t just a feel-good moment—it’s a biological imperative deeply embedded in your brain’s design.
And if you’ve ever felt isolated, giving is one of the simplest ways to build meaningful connections. This chemical strengthens your sense of trust and connection with others. In a world where loneliness is on the rise, even small acts of generosity can help create the relationships that sustain you.
Even financially, giving makes sense. Research shows that generosity at work fosters environments where people feel valued and motivated. By helping others succeed, you often find doors opening for yourself—whether it’s through mentorship, networking, or simply being someone others want to work with.
So if you’re thinking about giving—whether it’s time, money, or a listening ear—know that it’s not just about being “nice.” It’s an investment in your own mental and physical well-being, your relationships, and your ability to thrive in every area of life. Kindness might seem soft, but it’s one of the smartest, most practical tools you can use to strengthen yourself and the world around you. Give, not because it feels good (though it does), but because it works.
If you want to give yourself some kindness this season, check out my acclaimed documentary, which is sure to motivate you to dive deeper into harnessing the powers that exist all around you. Check it out at: https://www.jamesgrayrobinson.com/beyond-physical-matter/
I’m wishing you a Grayt holiday!